BackCountry Blend Found in Bigfoot’s Secret Garden

After the initial discovery of Bigfoot, we followed the mysterious beast further and further into the forest. After trudging up hills, down valleys, and across groves of densely forested pine, the Sasquatch finally stopped in a well-lit clearing on the south side of a mountain. He pulled some brush aside and squeezed himself through a narrow passage of fern. On the other side of the passage, the beast revealed an ethereal pasture – clandestine, ideal and full of gently swaying cannabis trees. Bigfoot took a knee at the head of his garden and placed two white buckets at his feet. As the containers touched the soil, the labels flashed towards us, reading: GreenPlanet Nutrients BackCountry Blend. The team and I have decided to dig in, and continue to document the gardening practices of this creature…

Dr. J. Herer, 2021, Scribbled on the back of The Oregonian

After a good night’s sleep, we began observing Bigfoot in the early morning. Among other things like cleaning his fur, fishing and smoking funny-smelling cigarettes, his daily duties seem to revolve around tending this secret garden. The buckets he brought up to the garden, now known to us as “BackCountry Blend”, seem to be an advanced and specific fertilizer designed to save the cultivator time and effort in the garden.

His routine is simple but quite effective; here is what we know so far: Bigfoot broadcasts the granular fertilizer BackCountry Blend overtop of his medium at a rate of 0.5-1 teaspoon per foot of plant height, and allows at least 3-5 weeks to pass before enriching the medium again. None of us have ever seen such a simple method of enriching the garden with fertilizer. We now understand the risks taken by the beast to bring BackCountry Blend up the mountain.

Ms. M. Jane, 2021, Written in Alex Garland’s, The Beach

After my colleagues fell asleep, and I ventured further into Bigfoot’s operation. On the buckets labelled, “BackCountry Blend”, there was also a sticker with the price of $45.99. In total, there are three buckets of BackCountry Blend in the garden: Grow, Bloom and Boost, all stickered with the same price. Is it really possible to feed such a garden with only three buckets of slow-release fertilizer? Only time will tell…

Monsieur, J. Guy, 2021, Retrieved from a St-Hubert napkin

We have been here for weeks observing the same, casual routine of Bigfoot. With a garden of my own back home, I must admit, I’m a bit jealous of how easy he makes it look. So, unannounced to my partners, I approached the beast one late afternoon. What a personable fellow! A real down-to-earth guy if you ask me. I told him about our observation of him, but he seems indifferent about the task. He says he’s leaving soon anyway; but before, he wants our help with the garden – whatever that means…

Mr. R. Simpson, 2021, Found written in the book Solvent Extraction: Principles and Practice

• BackCountry MSDS Sheets
• BackCountry Product Information
• BackCountry Feed Program